What more could you want from a relationship than to have peace between you and your partner with the aim of creating a safe space, a place to call home, a space of safety and development, of support and of love.
*Eli dreamed, more than all of us, about this scenario in which she would establish a home, with childish laughter and much joy. She dreamed daily of the fulfillment of this image, since she was 6 years old, when her parents parted ways. Then another story began for her: laden with tears and abuse, neglect and helplessness.
The story begins in the garden of the great-grandmother who was left to take care of the two girls, their father being completely absent. The neighbors noticed her inability to take care of the girls and, notifying Child Protection, the little girls were taken from her to another world, that of a state center. For Eli, it was the best period; being supported by the educators because of her diligence. She had a mentor who guided her throughout her life, the Romanian language teacher and educator at the center, who helped her discover her love for knowledge and development.
She spent the holidays with her father, a person she describes as selfish and completely uninterested in her upbringing, receiving only harsh words and beatings from him. The period spent in the dormitory (6-21 years) she remembers with pleasure, but returning home was always traumatic. She remembers an episode in the early years when the father came home from work to find the dirty plates in the kitchen, lined up the girls, wiped the dirty dishes on their cheeks, then gouged their faces with the shards.
Even on a sentimental level, things were not beautiful, and periods of professional decline were also present. At 22, she started a marriage relationship with a young man 8 years older than her, thinking that she would have someone to share her bitterness with and that his life experience would be a support for her. Sadly, after 8 years, the relationship ended because of his possessiveness and jealousy. The next relationship lasted 11 years and a child resulted from it. Although the partner did not want the child, for Eli, the news of the pregnancy was the only glimmer of beauty in a sea of disappointment. She took on everything to be able to become a mother, even with the total non-involvement of the father and, beyond the moments of physical and mental abuse, there was the constant pressure manifested by the partner's sister who was always present in the relationship and without whom he would not take the least decision.
Eli describes herself as a fighter, someone who invests in people and loves to help. One day, as she listened to a show on TV and understood that what she was experiencing was abuse, she decided to leave and arrived at the "ADRA House" with her daughter. During the hosting period, she discovers peace and security, as well as the strength for further endeavors. She resumes the educational process, enrolling in high school to complete it because her dream is to attend college, and works as a cleaner at a well-known retailer. During all this time, she is constantly supported by the center's specialists, to whom she feels very emotionally connected. Eli changed her story because she believed she could, worked for fulfillment, and received the helping hand she needed at the right time.
"ADRA House was everything for me, it gave me the start I needed for me and my little girl. There, I realized what happened, how to focus on myself and my little girl, and how to manage money. I have made beautiful and lasting friendships with the ladies there. I don't have enough words to express my gratitude for the team of professionals at Casa ADRA. Today, I am fine because of what I learned there: empathy, love for people, and patience beyond any expectation," Eli tells us, as an assisted person at "Casa ADRA", victim of domestic violence.
"I love my profession as a psychologist, and I am happy when I have people like Eli in the center. I don't know how many of us would be able to go on under conditions where the father, instead of being by your side, would only give you 50 lei to leave the house and fend for yourself. I don't know how many of us would be able to hold a job under conditions in which we would have to live for months under the open sky in a park, to wash our body and clothes at the tap in the park. This woman did that and managed to survive that time and, gently, instead of giving in mentally, she fought to overcome her condition. I am glad that I was able to be her guide for a few months and that my work was of great help to her. Eli is a very strong woman who has a beautiful dream at the age of 45, that of attending college. She is currently enrolled in high school, part-time, and in two years, after taking her baccalaureate, she will be admitted to college. She is an example of motivation, willpower, and perseverance for anyone. She is someone who proves that no matter where you were born, where you grew up and even if life is not generous, with the right help from specialists, you can overcome your condition and you fulfill your dreams," said Mariana Roș, ADRA Romania psychologist.
ADRA Romania's expertise in the field of domestic violence
Since 2009, ADRA Romania runs the Emergency Reception Center for Victims of Family Violence - Casa ADRA. In this center, ADRA Romania offers: accommodation, individual and family psychological counseling, social counseling, and food and emergency medical assistance to women (along with their children) who have reported domestic violence to the competent authorities.
The Adventist Development and Relief Agency in Romania - ADRA Romania - is licensed for the social service "Emergency Reception Center for Victims of Family Violence - Casa ADRA". The decision to grant the operating license was issued by the Ministry of Labour, Family, Social Protection and the Elderly, following the evaluation of the submitted documentation and verification visits. The center is licensed in accordance with Law no. 197/2012 regarding quality assurance in the field of social services, as amended.
More about ADRA Romania
Since 1990, the Adventist Development and Relief Agency in Romania - ADRA Romania - has been particularly involved in development projects that benefit the entire population. Conducting itself in the projects undertaken according to the motto "Justice. Compassion. Love.", ADRA Romania brings joy and hope to the lives of beneficiaries by promoting a better future, values and human dignity. AS an accredited social service provider, ADRA Romania is part of the ADRA International network, the global humanitarian organization of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, one of the most widespread non-governmental organizations in the world. Active in 118 countries and based on a philosophy that combines compassion with practical spirit, ADRA International reaches out to people in need, without racial, ethnic, political, or religious distinctions, with the aim of serving humanity so that all may live together as God intended.
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